New & Humbled

I don't do so well writing in my journal, but I have so many thoughts I think about writing in it. It is just so slow to actually hand write them out. I sit at the computer plenty during the day, so I thought I would give this a shot, making a journal blog. Not for anyone to read, not to advertise, but just a place for me to write my thoughts. If someone happens to trip upon it, well then I hope they find something that entertains them.

We had our relief society activity two days ago. We honored the homesteader sisters in the ward. We didn't get to hear as many of the "cool" stories as I would have liked, but I heard enough to keep me humbled.

You see, just the day before James and I were having one of those "worst day ever" kind of days.  The wind was blowing 60-80 mph, and it did some great damage outside. It blew down three trees and the grain silo, among other things. The worst part was that we found out that our "brand new pick-up" had not been properly fixed and would cost another 2-3 thousand to have it repaired the right way. This pick up has been a giant headache from the get go. It was just really getting to both of us.

(I really don't do well with money issues. Mentally, that is. I don't handle them well mentally.)

Listening to some of these stories from the old women, really put my small problems into perspective. I haven't had to live in a chicken coop for years while my new (tiny) house was being built. I don't have to drive for miles every day just to pick up my water that I will use for the day.   I don't have to walk to the grocery store with my kids in tow. I don't have a leaky house that has dirt blown in it every time the wind blows. (It blows hard every day!)

Who am I to plead to my Heavenly Father to help me come to terms with the bad news about our pickup?  Why doesn't he just give me the "buck-up" speech that I deserve?  Why does he calm my troubled heart, sooth my soul and reassure me that all will be well?  I don't deserve that. I guess he also gave me the blessing of going to that relief society meeting and listening to those stories. It was a great reminder to me that I am blessed beyond what I deserve.

I shared my thoughts with James and he told me to write them down. He's cool like that. I love him.